Obedience

We were taught the "scientific" way in school. What did it say? Ask questions!!! Why, what, when, where, which, how... Endlessly, until you are satisfied with the answer. A good way to learn - a really good way. There was probably an implicit message in there that we didn't read. Let us ponder.

As a child, we were forbidden from doing many things - for reasons of safety, ethics, tradition, etc. We couldn't talk back or ask questions about them. A revolt was stirring within. There was the urge to break free and run away from all restriction. Anyone that imposed it was the enemy, no matter how near in kith and kin. As we aged and went to higher classes in school / college, that feeling just grew and slowly, it started to show outside. Rank mistrust, disobedience in the name of being more "educated" than our elders fed that ego within and fueled authoritarian nerves.

Today, as we age, as we see our children grow and as we impose restrictions on our children, history repeats. Just that we seem to be at the receiving end now! It suddenly dawns that those restrictions were probably not all wrong. They did seem irritating at the time, but they certainly were meant for our good. Nothing has changed except age! So, how did the thought change? Why is there a wanting to go back to those days and correct myself? What if we could just rewind and undo or erase a few things off our childhood? The reason this is happening is because somewhere at the back of the mind, there is a voice  telling that I have done wrong. And I am unable to erase those memories. Those retorts, those swears, those fights...

I remember my dad telling me every time I asked him to reason with me that I would eventually learn and I wouldn't understand then. This hurt me at that time, momentarily though, but those were the moments that led to unpleasant situations further on. Today, my children ask me questions the same way and I am unable to convince them, not because I cannot but because they wouldn't understand right away! I realize now that my dad had let me experience it rather than explain it then and make a fool of himself in my non-comprehending eyes. He only said - "Trust me and do it". In all, it was asking me to "Obey".

Obedience is such a beautiful thing that we all have once revolted against and still continue to do. Imagine every parent having to explain himself/herself to their kids every time something was told. Imagine a teacher having to explain why certain discipline is expected from a student. Imagine a doctor having to explain everything to the ignorant patient. Think of the captain of a team having to explain his moves to all his players. Imagine a war situation where the commander would have to explain everything to his soldiers! Tough isn't it?

Having said that, I don't say we forfeit asking questions to learn. I only think we should forfeit questioning to challenge - mostly in tough situations. Trust plays a huge role in imbibing obedience. We could choose to be selectively obedient, but who we obey has to be consistent. People learn by making mistakes and if one of the mistakes were obedience, so be it. In most situations, the situation eases for everyone if there is obedience and re-learning for all rather than challenging and arguing. We could listen to others and ask questions to ourselves! That way, there is rationality within and outside.

There is knowledge that is taught and common to all. The uncommon is sought. And that reveals itself only to the seeker. The latter cannot explain  this knowledge, no matter how good he or she is. An attempt at an explanation would invite criticism and blame not because the knowledge or the seeker who succeeded are false, but purely because the questioner isn't qualified enough to learn! It is up to each questioner to become the seeker rather than the challenger. Obedience from trust is what would help achieve this end!